In the fast-paced world of work, we're all in it together – collaborating, communicating, and striving for our goals. But today, I want to talk about something really important: gaslighting in the workplace. It's one of those sneaky behaviors that can creep into the workplace, affecting our mental well-being and messing with our sense of reality.
Gaslighting is like a psychological manipulation game, leaving employees feeling unsure, alone, and questioning what's real. It's crucial to recognize gaslighting and its impact, so we can create a supportive and cohesive workplace where everyone feels valued and understood.
Can you relate to any of the following?
Denying Promised Opportunities: Your manager promises you a promotion or a significant project, but when the time comes to deliver, they deny ever making such promises, leaving you doubting your memory and feeling overlooked.
Questioning Competence: A colleague consistently questions your abilities, making comments like, "Are you sure you can handle this task?" or "I don't think you have the experience for that role," undermining your confidence and making you doubt your skills.
Belittling Achievements: You achieve a notable success at work, but a coworker dismisses it as insignificant, saying things like, "That's not a big deal; anyone could have done it," leaving you feeling unappreciated and questioning your worth.
Shifting Blame: When a project fails or something goes wrong, a coworker or supervisor blames you for the entire situation, even if others were also involved, making you feel responsible for everything and doubting your abilities.
Misleading Information: A coworker provides you with incorrect information or withholds essential details deliberately, making you question your judgment and decision-making.
Gaslighting in Meetings: During a team meeting, a coworker openly contradicts something you said earlier, making you doubt yourself and leading others to question your credibility.
Or have you ever experienced what has been labelled as 'Constructive Feedback' but is actually humiliating, and you feel belittled or ridiculed in front of others, causing embarrassment and self-doubt? Or even FAKE CONCERN, when you try to protect or protect yourself?
Then you might be experiencing GASLIGHTING - something that we are more used to discussing in romantic or family relationships. But it happens in the corporate world too, all too often. It's all about making someone doubt their own thoughts, perceptions, and abilities. It's not fun to deal with, but it's important to be aware of it. It can be tough to spot at first, but once you know what to look for, you'll see it more clearly.
Some signs of gaslighting in the workplace include constant contradictions, manipulative language, or even withholding important information, leaving you feeling left out and in the dark. And, the impact of gaslighting on your well-being can be heavy, causing stress and anxiety, and it may even affect your work performance.
- A 2014 Workplace Bullying Institute survey found that 45% of respondents experienced some form of workplace bullying, which can include gaslighting behaviors.
- A 2019 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) reported that 53% of employees had experienced "verbal abuse, condescension, or belittling" in the workplace, which can be indicative of gaslighting.
Another 2019 study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that 71% of participants reported experiencing workplace bullying at some point in their careers, with gaslighting being one of the tactics employed.
Gaslighting can often go unreported or unnoticed because of the subtle and insidious nature of the behavior and so many employees may not even realize that they are being gaslit, attributing their feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and anxiety to personal shortcomings rather than manipulation.
If you find yourself caught in the web of gaslighting, remember that you are not alone!
Recognizing gaslighting is the first step towards reclaiming your power and embracing your authentic self. Trust your instincts, trust your gut - and set up some time to connect with me,so that we can plan your journey back to self confidence and assertiveness.
Healing and Recovery: Recovering from the effects of gaslighting takes time and support. Together, we will focus on rebuilding self-compassion, and setting healthy boundaries are crucial steps in the healing process.
Rebuilding Self-Esteem: Gaslighting can severely damage self-esteem. Engaging in self-care practices, celebrating small victories, and acknowledging your strengths can help rebuild confidence.
Gaslighting and Gaslighters: It's essential to remember that gaslighting is about the manipulator's actions, not a reflection of the victim's character or worth.
Empowerment through Knowledge: Understanding gaslighting and its tactics empowers you to recognize it when it occurs and take steps to protect yourself.
I truly believe that we can foster workplaces where every individual's voice is heard, valued, and respected. Together, we can break free from the shadows of gaslighting and build a brighter, more empowering workplace ... and it starts when we allow ourselves to craft a different experience.
Don't hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. You deserve support and understanding in your journey. I invite you to reach out and let's have a chat. Together, we can uncover strategies and insights that will empower you to cultivate a life of boundaries, resilience and empowerment!
With heartfelt compassion and understanding,
Lily